Bumps, Supermarket Sweeps, and Musicians: Three Simple Ways to Improve Society

Here are a few ideas and thoughts to improve the society in which we live. They are not grand, life changing ideas like the ones commonly found on my friend’s Mind of Maus weblog. But they should suffice in improving the overall quality of your life.

Bumps

Recently, I was driving back home to Minnesota from Iowa on a two-lane highway. Up ahead of me was a BUMP AHEAD sign. Then came the BUMP sign with the arrow pointing to the bump. As I drove over the bump I was disappointed by the fact that someone felt this bump was worthy of being marked.

It got me to thinking, why mark this bump using two permanent signs? Why not just fix the bump? Are there really certain kinds of bumps that civil engineers have simply failed to figure out how to fix? I find this hard to believe.

Here is my suggestion to improve society: Instead of marking the bump with road signs, let’s just go ahead and fix the bump.

Supermarket Sweeps

Rachel and I were in the checkout line at the grocery store the other week when I had the sudden urge to try to guess the amount of money we were about to drop on groceries. I was under by $20. Immediately, I blamed this on the rise in grocery prices since the 1990’s. When none other than the TV game show Supermarket Sweep was on the air.

The idea hit me, wouldn’t it be great if grocery stores gave discounts if you were able to guess to the cent the amount of groceries in your cart? What if there was a discount for collecting all the items in your grocery list in under a set amount of time? Grocery shopping would be tons of fun!

Side note: If you’ve ever seen an episode of the Sweep, why is it that the contestants need to change into sweaters for the final round? Why can’t they wear them the entire show? Why do they need to wear them at all? These are the mysteries of life!

Here is how these ideas can improve society: Grocery stores should act more like game shows. They should offer discounts for guessing the total price of the items in your cart and find ways in general to make shopping a bit more competitive.

Musicians

Let's be honest, this guy looks like he has a lot on his mind.

Have you ever been to a concert or any instance where someone is playing music, like a church service, and they immediately begin to use lyrics in the song to explain the song? This really annoys me. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and a place for talking about a song, some could use a set up, but overall songs should speak for themselves.

Ultimately, a musician that doesn’t trust the audience with the interpretation of a song, and feels a need to explain it, shouldn’t sing the song.

For instance lets look at art. Art doesn’t need to be explained, good art offers explanations to the viewer when viewing, without the artist standing there offering interpretation. Good music stands on its own without the musician needing to explain the meaning of the song.

Thusly, I propose the following rule to improve society: If you paid hard earned money to attend a concert and the musician uses lyrics from their song to explain the next song, you get your money back. If it is a free event, well its a free event, so feel free to leave.

Folks, I hope you see how much more life can be lived with these simple improvements. I’d like to hear your thoughts on other ways in which society can be improved or ways to improve my improvements.

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